Write down one kind of help you need today, then look for someone who can help and when. If no one can watch your child, help with groceries or a short call may be possible. If no one is nearby or asking feels difficult, start with school, medical, or community services.

Key point

List people and organizations that can help by role and time. Before leaving your child in someone's care, confirm safety information and ways to stay in contact.

What to remember

  • Record times, roles, distance, and limits on emergency help rather than how close the relationship is.
  • Give backup caregivers medical information, contact details, and safety instructions.
  • If you are losing control or thinking about harming yourself or others, crisis support comes first.

Start by separating the roles

Divide a sheet of paper into four sections: regular help, brief check-ins, emergency supervision, and school, medical, or community services. Record times and limits, such as "Tuesday pickup, 30 minutes" or "Cannot provide transportation." This worksheet does not rate your relationships, and costs, relocation, or discrimination may leave some spaces empty.

Make small requests that are easy to answer

Name an action and time: "Can we talk at 5 on Thursday for 20 minutes?" Do not interpret a no as rejection of the whole relationship. Note what is possible. Tell your child, "Your aunt will be with you today. Say so right away if you feel uncomfortable."

Do not ask one person to provide every kind of help

Even if no one can directly watch your child, other help may be possible, such as grocery shopping, bringing a meal, going with you to a medical appointment, or talking on the phone. Finding one thing each person can do makes both requests and thanks clearer than asking one person to do everything.

Do not rank paid care, family care, and help from organizations as better or worse. Consider whether the care is stable and safe for the child and whether it gives the caregiver actual time to rest or finish a task.

Share safety information before leaving your child in someone's care

Put allergies, prescribed medicines and existing care plans, communication methods, caregiver and emergency contacts, and safety rules on one sheet to share. Do not skip checks on infant and toddler supervision, vehicles, or medicines just because you know someone well. Stop the care arrangement if your child is uncomfortable.

Try something small and keep notes

Start with a short visit or having someone join you for pickup. Afterward, note only whether your child was comfortable, whether the time and role worked, and what to change next time. Say, "Those 30 minutes really helped today." If it was not a good fit, look for another role or time.

Keep handoffs with your child brief and familiar

On a day when someone else is caring for your child, do not disappear suddenly. Briefly explain who will pick them up and when. Tell the caregiver only what they need to know, such as a favorite item or toileting and meal needs. Avoid long explanations that make leaving feel anxious.

When you return, reconnect by saying, "We're together again," rather than pressing for answers to "What did you do?" Then listen to as much as your child wants to share. If your child remains uncomfortable or the caregiver does not keep safety agreements, pause the next care arrangement and find another option.

Call for help right away if safety is an immediate concern

If isolation, depression, anxiety, or anger makes caregiving difficult, or you have thoughts of harming yourself or your child or are losing control, contact local mental health or emergency support and a healthcare professional before organizing contacts. When you cannot supervise your child, call a safe adult and emergency support.

Worksheet

Who to ask for help and when

Record the roles people can actually fill and the safety checks needed.

Regular help
Day, time, and tasks they can do
Brief check-ins
When calls or messages are possible
Emergency supervision
Distance and limits on supervision
One-page handoff
Medical information, contacts, and safety instructions

Notes

  • Writing down contacts alone does not remove the burden or prevent burnout or depression. If asking for practical help is difficult, you can first contact a healthcare professional or local support organization.
  • If you do not yet have anyone to ask, you can leave personal connections blank and start with school, medical, and community services.
  • Continue checking your child's safety and signs of discomfort while receiving help.

References

This is general guidance on finding caregiving support. It does not replace medical assessment, crisis intervention, or mental health diagnosis or treatment.